Semi-humane bat disposal

Last night my buddy Dan and I caught a bat that was flying around his apartment.

Dan has a tennis racket. And while that may seem like the ideal tool of choice when catching bats, it's actually the best way to splatter tiny mammal guts all over your couch.

The bat was caught when Dan pressed a garbage against the ceiling, trapping the bat inside. We then slid a towel over the top, carried the garbage can outside, and then heroically threw the garbage can into the alley behind Dan's apartment complex and ran inside like cowardly little girls.

However, the bat has now seen my face, so I fear that one day he may decide to terrorize my home by sitting in a corner and occasionally looking at me. That batty dick.

(work.)

I made an incorrect pun right there. "Batty" means "crazy," not "batlike." I mean, that bat might have been crazy, but only because it was dying of rabies.