Hi, I'm Nuggets
Before I'd met Amy's father, she told him my last name was Birdseye (like the frozen food company my great grandfather founded) so he started calling me Niblets. At the time, I had no clue what niblets were because that is a stupid word and I would not want to use it regularly. (Niblets are bits of corn, I think. If a niblet expert can help me out here, that'd be appreciated.)
Before I met her father, I asked Amy what he called me. 'Nuggets,' I think. So when I introduced myself to Amy's dad, I said 'Hi, I'm Nuggets.' Then he asked me if I was nuggets with or without the sauce and we proceeded to exchange some really bad dialogue about nuggets.
Later, as we were walking away from her dad, I asked Amy, 'You sure he called me Nuggets? Now that I think about it, that has nothing to do with frozen food the name Birdseye.'
'Oh shit, he called you Niblets.'
'So I just introduced myself as Nuggets for nothing?'
'Yep.'
'Damn.'
(Tally Hall.)
As soon as Amy's dad asked me if I was Nuggets with or without sauce, I felt sick. He wanted to run with the nickname I'd just accidentally given myself. I felt like an idiot talking about whether I had sauce. "Hey Nuggets, do you have sauce?" No matter whether I said, "Yes, I have sauce," or "No, I don't need sauce," I would have hated myself for contributing to this conversation. Running with the "Henry is Nuggets" line of thought made me cringe, but I had to run with it because I didn't want to make a bad impression with Amy's father.
Had I refused the sauce conversation and run with my instincts, things would have gone something like this:
"You're Nuggets, huh? Are those the nuggets with sauce?"
"Hold on just a sec. I'm going to go drown myself in the restroom."
"Take your time, Nuggets."
(pause)
(a toilet flushes, and I am no more)
Before I met her father, I asked Amy what he called me. 'Nuggets,' I think. So when I introduced myself to Amy's dad, I said 'Hi, I'm Nuggets.' Then he asked me if I was nuggets with or without the sauce and we proceeded to exchange some really bad dialogue about nuggets.
Later, as we were walking away from her dad, I asked Amy, 'You sure he called me Nuggets? Now that I think about it, that has nothing to do with frozen food the name Birdseye.'
'Oh shit, he called you Niblets.'
'So I just introduced myself as Nuggets for nothing?'
'Yep.'
'Damn.'
(Tally Hall.)
As soon as Amy's dad asked me if I was Nuggets with or without sauce, I felt sick. He wanted to run with the nickname I'd just accidentally given myself. I felt like an idiot talking about whether I had sauce. "Hey Nuggets, do you have sauce?" No matter whether I said, "Yes, I have sauce," or "No, I don't need sauce," I would have hated myself for contributing to this conversation. Running with the "Henry is Nuggets" line of thought made me cringe, but I had to run with it because I didn't want to make a bad impression with Amy's father.
Had I refused the sauce conversation and run with my instincts, things would have gone something like this:
"You're Nuggets, huh? Are those the nuggets with sauce?"
"Hold on just a sec. I'm going to go drown myself in the restroom."
"Take your time, Nuggets."
(pause)
(a toilet flushes, and I am no more)
Labels: awkward, relationships
posted by Henry at 9:40 PM
3 Comments:
Good going, nuggets.
When he asked if you had sauce you should have whipped out your cock and came all over the room to show him your sauce.
For added emphasis you could tell him how much Amy likes the sauce.
Gross.
I don't even want to think about your "sauce" and Pops being in the same sentence, let alone in the same room.
I'm going to go cry in the non jizzed-up corner.
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