Jeff Lewis: rebel, lawyer, inmate
Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to Jeff Lewis, a guy in my 7th grade class who was later bumped up to 8th grade because the principal was afraid of him.
Jeff was big for his age. Maybe he matured early or maybe he was held back years ago. Either way, he was big and got into a lot of fights, so our principal moved him up to 8th grade so he'd be out of school faster.
Basically he scared our school's administration, so they said, 'You're huge, so we're moving you up a grade.'
There's a chance Jeff got to high school and his teachers thought, 'Damn, he's big and violent, let's just pass him and be done with it.' In a couple weeks, he's got a high school degree.
Then he applies to college and the dean sends him a letter saying, 'Please don't beat me up. Enclosed is your diploma.'
Yep, life sure could be funny for this guy, though he's more likely to be in prison for beating a man with a shovel.
(Best buy.)
To continue the story:
Jeff applies to law school and he gets a letter back saying, 'Don't bother coming here. We pulled some strings and you passed the Bar. Leave us alone.'
Jeff goes to court and the judge immediately says, 'Jeff wins, so this guy's guilty and getting executed. You can leave the courtroom, Jeff. Don't hit me.'
On to Real Life Jeff Lewis news:
My buddy Darryl pointed out that a couple years ago he saw Jeff's brother at a park. Apparently Jeff played bass and sang in a hardcore band. Good for him, I say.
Darryl ripped Jeff's band's CD and sent me a couple mp3s. It was your typical hardcore music, though the band's collective education seemed to be lacking, as evidenced by the lyric:
"BURN THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!"
...
No, seriously.
Here's wikipedia's summary of the Declaration of Independence:
"The Declaration of Independence is the document in which the Thirteen Colonies in North America declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so."
Yeah, burn that fucker, Jeff! America sucks! Being a collection of separately chartered and governed British colonies is fucking awesome, man!
Jeff was big for his age. Maybe he matured early or maybe he was held back years ago. Either way, he was big and got into a lot of fights, so our principal moved him up to 8th grade so he'd be out of school faster.
Basically he scared our school's administration, so they said, 'You're huge, so we're moving you up a grade.'
There's a chance Jeff got to high school and his teachers thought, 'Damn, he's big and violent, let's just pass him and be done with it.' In a couple weeks, he's got a high school degree.
Then he applies to college and the dean sends him a letter saying, 'Please don't beat me up. Enclosed is your diploma.'
Yep, life sure could be funny for this guy, though he's more likely to be in prison for beating a man with a shovel.
(Best buy.)
To continue the story:
Jeff applies to law school and he gets a letter back saying, 'Don't bother coming here. We pulled some strings and you passed the Bar. Leave us alone.'
Jeff goes to court and the judge immediately says, 'Jeff wins, so this guy's guilty and getting executed. You can leave the courtroom, Jeff. Don't hit me.'
On to Real Life Jeff Lewis news:
My buddy Darryl pointed out that a couple years ago he saw Jeff's brother at a park. Apparently Jeff played bass and sang in a hardcore band. Good for him, I say.
Darryl ripped Jeff's band's CD and sent me a couple mp3s. It was your typical hardcore music, though the band's collective education seemed to be lacking, as evidenced by the lyric:
"BURN THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!"
...
No, seriously.
Here's wikipedia's summary of the Declaration of Independence:
"The Declaration of Independence is the document in which the Thirteen Colonies in North America declared themselves independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain and explained their justifications for doing so."
Yeah, burn that fucker, Jeff! America sucks! Being a collection of separately chartered and governed British colonies is fucking awesome, man!
Labels: music
posted by Henry at 6:31 PM
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