I'd like my gambling wacky, if possible

I saw a casino billboard on the freeway using the words, 'Wild WACKY Winnings!' And get this: the word 'wacky' was in a crazy font, which is pretty fucking wacky if you ask me.

Then I got to thinking that Wild Wacky Winnings was probably just the name of a slot machine, and there's nothing particularly wild or wacky about pulling a lever until you don't have any money.

Maybe it'd be wacky if all of your winnings came in the form of top hats filled with shaving cream. Or if every time you won, a man dressed as a giant baby painted a tiger on your chest. Fine, that's wacky.

But a colored font? Not quite, slot machine. Not quite. Hire a chest painter, then we'll see.

(work.)

After remembering that old women love slot machines and that that'd be the demographic most likely to play the Wild Wacky Winnings slot machine, I realized that maybe painting tigers on the chest of an old woman isn't so much wacky as it is gross.

Good thing we're recording ourselves shaving your beard

Yesterday Vunner and I were going to shoot a time lapse movie of him trimming and eventually shaving his beard. We needed a room with a plain background that wouldn't be in the way of his housemates, so we ended up shooting the time lapse movie in the bathroom in the basement of his house.

This resulted in Vunner sitting on the toilet in his tiny bathroom with his Macbook sitting on top of two boxes in front of him while I occasionally leaned over with a pair of scissors and cut a little bit of his beard hair.

'Ya know,' I said a few minutes into filming, 'this would be a lot creepier if we weren't recording everything.'
'Yeah,' he agreed. 'then we'd just be two guys in a small bathroom shaving a beard. The camera makes this an art project. Without it, you'd just be trimming my beard while I sit on the toilet and use my laptop.'
'This scene is more normal because your laptop has a built-in camera.'

(work.)

Somewhere, the same thing is happening but with a small change:
A roommate walks by two guys in the bathroom.  One guy is sitting on the toilet and shaving his face in front a laptop while the other guy appears to be helping him.  The roommate asks,
"Hey guys, does that laptop have a camera?"
"No."
"Fags."

Prisoner art gallery

There are art shows where all the paintings on exhibit are done by convicted felons. If I ran one of those art galleries, I'd change it up a bit.

'Oooh, that's the most gorgeous landscape I've ever seen. But what're those words in the corner?'
'That's the artist's name and what he's convicted for.'
'So what'd this guy do?'
'Well, reading the small print on the corner of this painting, we find that this man owned a veal farm and took liberties with the little calves. He's in here for life, as sodomy laws get harsher when it's with baby animals.'
'Oh. Then who painted that ugly little unicorn near over there?'
'Hmmm. Well, this one says the artist's a serial jaywalker.'
'A what?'
'A serial jaywalker. He illegally crossed streets. A lot.'
'Oh, well, when's he get out?'
'Painting says next month.'
'I'll take it!'

(Exam.)

I don't care how breathtaking a painting of a majestic forest is. Nobody wants it if it's been created by a murderer and/or rapist. Just thought I'd throw that out there in case anybody plans on going on a killing spree and then becoming the next Rembrandt.