Awkward Michigan shirt

I'm wearing a yellow Michigan shirt today. I feel weird wearing it. Not because I'm wearing a Michigan shirt at Michigan. No, apparently the 'Don't wear a t-shirt for the band you're going to see' rule doesn't apply at universities.

No, I got this shirt from my 7th grade math teacher when I was in 12 grade.

But why would that happen, you ask? Why would I still keep in touch with my 7th grade math teacher?

Because he was dating my mom at the time, that's why. Awkward, I know.

And now this shirt's awkward because of that.

(work.)

If you receive a gift for a weird reason, it's harder to appreciate that gift.  I got that shirt because a man who once taught me math may or may not have been boinking my mom.

Preggers Bitches Best Cover Up

The other day I saw a girl, probably around the age of 18, wearing a shirt that showed off her midriff. The problem here is that she was also very much pregnant.

The combination of pregnancy and revealing clothing tells us at least two things:
1) There is a good chance she is a slut, and
2) Daddy probably ran away once he put his demon seed in her whore garden.

You don't put up a help wanted sign if you've already got a full-time manager. In this metaphor, the help wanted sign is the skanky clothing, and the full-time manager is the baby daddy. What ties this together is the fact that boning the right people can make you a manager at some places, most notably fast food joints.

In conclusion, preggers bitches best cover up. Word.

(bed.)