Wiitards

Whenever I tell someone that I own a Wii, more than half the time that's followed up by the other person asking me if I've broken my TV yet.

Let me set the record straight here:
If you break something expensive while playing the Wii, you're either a moron, a child, or you're drunk. If you're playing it right, you're flicking your wrist in different directions, not wildly flailing your arms around the room, endangering your friends, your family, and most importantly, your television.

In conclusion, the Wii is safe and fun, not a death machine. If you manage to injure yourself badly or break something expensive, you're what some people would call a 'Wiitard.'

There, I said it. The awful pun has been made.

I'm going to work now.

(work.)

Nintendong Revolution

The Nintendo Revolution will feature a wireless controller that is shaped like a thick iPod shuffle and it will offer 3d gameplay. The console will know exactly how you're moving the controller. How it's rotated, how fast it's moving, etc. Which led Bora and I to this conclusion:

Someone is going to play games with their penis. They'll strap the controller to their wang and wave it around and poor Link in the latest Zelda game will just think someone's swinging a sword with their arm.

Well, you're wrong, Link. Your sword is some guy's erect penis. This could finally be a chance to live out a power fantasy and slay monsters with his mighty genitals. You thrust your pelvis and bam! The demons are dead. Hooray for your penis!

Unfortunately, the Nintendo Revolution controller is small and white.

(Class.)

You know it'll happen.

Update: Now that it's no longer called the Revolution, it's more the Nintendo Wiiner.