Weather.com is kind of a dick today

It got really cold again, and that's surprising because yesterday weather.com and it said we should be in the mid 30's. I checked it today and it was just a picture of a middle finger.

'Fuck you, that's the weather.'
'So...wear a coat?'

(work.)

Shaving cream on my toothbrush

You know you're too tired to function when you get out of the shower and squirt a huge glob of shaving cream onto your toothbrush.

There was that pause immediately after I did it, too. One where I realized what I had just done and then silently screamed '...fuck!' to myself.

It was like I woke up knowing I wouldn't have anything to say this morning, then my brain nudged me and said, 'Nah, don't worry about it, I've got your back.' Then five minutes later I'm standing there with shaving cream on my toothbrush thinking, 'I hate you, brain. I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.'

Then my brain says, 'How can you hate me when all you're thinking about is what Bea Arthur looks like under all those old lady clothes...?'

Then I, realizing I'd just challenged my own brain to a fight I'd never win, unwillingly got a mental picture of Bea Arthur undressing as a look of horror spreads across face.

(work.)

My away messages can get weird when I'm tired, but there's not much I can do about that. My brain likes to anthropomorphize things.

Bad News Via Anthropomorphism

The other night our toilet on the second floor got sick and threw up all over the floor. The toilet barf (read: "poop water") dripped down from the bathroom floor through Hartmann's light fixture onto his bed. It also crawled across the carpet into Bora's room.

This is what happens when you have a bulimic toilet. I mean, if you ate poop and pee all day, you'd probably throw up all the time, right? Although our toilet doesn't actually have a soul, so instead of a thinking, puking toilet friend, we actually just have shitty plumbing.

Anthropomorphism makes the bad news easier to deal with. 'Friendly hurricane gives New Orleans a big wet kiss.' See? It's like all the pain is gone.

(Class.)

It's hard when Fate gives you a potentially hilarious situation where poop water is upstairs and the best you can do is slap a soul on the toilet and call it a day.

Adding life to inanimate object is a great way to make things seem more "happy." Note that in Super Mario World almost every item block, background decoration, and bad guy had eyes. Not that the bad guys shouldn't have eyes, unless one of them was blind or something, but what kind of Nintendo character beats up on a blind guy?