The Gritty Realism in My Dolphin Simulations

Whenever I log in to Second Life, I don't know what to expect. Given that I've seen people have sex, roleplay as animals, gamble away all their money, dominate, submit, and last but not least, urinate while flying, I don't really know what to expect out of this game.

Either way, I'm going to throw dolphins all over this goddamn virtual world and see if anyone can stop me.

If I found dolphins on my lawn in real life, I'd probably just pour some water on them and try to get them to shut the fuck up, as they'd most likely be screaming.

The ones in Second Life, they just rotate and make happy dolphin noises, which totally kills the gritty realism I want from my dolphin simulations.

(Second Life.)

Not many people even know what Second Life is, which is why I've chosen to start a blog documenting my journeys in this somewhat obscure, freakshow of an online game. A link shall be posted soon.

Why aren't the dolphins out yet?

Second Life emails you when you get IMed while offline.

This is what I've received today:
Jynx Axon:
GET YOUR DOLPHINS OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM
Jynx Axon:
why arent the effin dolphins out yet
Jynx Axon:
i want them out
Jynx Axon:
they r annoying as hell
Jynx Axon:
and if u dont take them out
Jynx Axon:
we are ganna have a serious problem

Wow, internet. Just wow.

(Grilling discount chicken on the Foreman.)

More on the subject later. As I've said before, the Second Life blog will come soon enough (update: no, it probably won't), then all the gritty details will be readily digestible by the blogosphere.

Your Dolphin Garbage is Infinite

Last night in Second Life I put a lot of dolphins all over a beach area.



Well, turns out, in Second Life, one can own land, and the guy who owned that particular IMed me today and said, 'very funny.' Because unlike the eggs with which you pelt your neighbor's car, every item you create in Second Life is marked with your name.

So this guy found about 20 dolphins in his yard and all of them had my name on it. So naturally I'm going to try to see what other kinds of crap I can leave in other people's yards, because with the internet, your dolphin garbage is infinite.

I think 'Your Dolphin Garbage is Infinite' would be a good album title. Possibly for Interrobang.
(bed.)

I've always wanted to call my band Interrobang. For those of you who don't study obscure punctuation marks, an interrobang is "?!", as in, "You hid my insulin WHERE?!"

Hot Tub Cyber Sex

Tonight, above a river valley, in a stone courtyard, standing at a balcony overlooking a beautiful landscape, I found two people having cyber sex in a hot tub.

The river, the stone courtyard, the balcony, and the hot tub were all a part of Second Life, an open-ended MMO game. The term 'open-ended' could entail building a castle and selling light sabers and dinosaur sculptures for online money. Or it means you can have sex with people over the internet.

The girl using the sex animation on the guy had a microphone plugged in and I could hear her moaning and saying dirty things. This meant that somewhere this evening a girl was playing a video game whilst makin' self magic, finger style. Which is somewhere between sad and really sad.

Hooray internet!

(Hooray bed!)

I later found out that the voice I heard while observing the couple cyber-boning was probably coming from the animation itself, not the lady actually plugging in a microphone and moaning whilst making the loneliest of loves. Still, I got that initial shock, and that makes me happy. And shocked.